BEB Exclusive: Valentine's Day Special!

You know what they say, there is always someone for everyone to spend the rest of their lives with and you get to wonder but the clocking is ticking so fast and he/she is yet to show up and everyone be asking you dumb questions of some sort like when are you getting married? Often times, most people get so scared that the year is running to an end and no sign of Prince charming or Cinderella.

Your religious leaders in faith have told you all sorts that you should wait for God’s time and you are like, when exactly is this God’s time going to come is it when your enemy should have already been a grandparent.

It’s now a habit for friends and families to send you Aso-ebi from colleagues, just to make you realize what the heck are you still waiting for. The society recognizes you as a responsible man only when you are married likewise the women folk, they say a woman's tendency of a successful child bearing declines as soon as she reaches a certain age.

My questions then are;

1. Should a man marry when he is not financially buoyant to run a home?

2. Should a woman marry a man with no sustainable job?

3. Should two people who don't love each other marry for the sake of the society?

4. Should a man marry a woman who can't manage a home when he is out of finances?

5. Should a woman marry a man with a future prospect while she suffers in the mean time?

I interviewed some of my readers on what they think about my questions on marriage, I raised above and they had some things to say.

BEB1 with Omotola Ojo;

1. Should a man marry when he is not financially buoyant to run a home?

Nah, it's never advisable to marriage when you ain't buoyant, how will you prove you the man of the house, if you can't provide your home's basic needs? It is advisable he has something doing before thinking of marriage.

2. Should a woman marry a man with no sustainable job?

Well, we all got different beliefs, in here some will come up with religious quotes and beliefs, it is said in some quarters when a man marries things becomes even better for the man, opportunities opens for him and all. But on the real sense, I won't advice a sister to do that.

3. Should two people who don't love each other marry for the sake of the society?
What is a marriage without love and understand? That is called an everlasting bondage, no one will want to encage him/herself for life, to satisfy the society, the society herself will always scold one for such when done. Never try such!

4. Should a man marry a woman who can't manage a home when he is out of finances?

Every marriage aim is to assist each other, the both parties should have sources of income, where they both support themselves in time of need, in a case the man is out of finances, the woman should be able to manage the home pending the time the man gets back up, but that doesn't stop the man from not making moves to get back up.

5. Should a woman marry a man with a future prospect while she suffers in the mean time?
Yes, woman should marry man with prospect, they should both suffer together towards building a dynasty of their own, before we were born our fore fathers married without nothing, then build a home from point zero with their wives to their point of satisfaction, but ladies of this time are after the ready made soup (Olorunsogo) none of them are ready to do the Surulere lane again.

BEB 2 with Folashade Oyeniyi;

Let me start by saying a life without God is not worth living, it is very important to know God, believe in God and have a good relationship with him. Nobody is certain of how the future will look like though we are all making plans and working towards having a future.

You know this challenge you are facing is one that you,your parents, the people asking dumb questions, the friends and families sending Aso-ebi and even the society cannot help, if they can they would have and also getting yourself worried or thinking about it won't make any difference and you have to be careful so it doesn't lead to depression which is very dangerous to your health, so that brings us to only person that can help which is God.

So now you know God,you believe in him,you have a solid relationship with him,so obviously he is aware of the challenges you facing yet the "he/she" hasn't showed up. Hmmm at this stage you need to be patient as there are different reasons to the delay that only God knows and it's only God that can take away the delay so don't allow the opinion of anybody except God matter to you and don't let them determine your happiness,because everyone in one way or the other has faced or is facing and will face their challenges but with God one will overcome.

So since God is the only hope and yet no show, you cant afford to give up, you have to hang on to him, Him,stick to him, seek His face and if there is anything you need to know or do he will communicate it with you and sometimes he might not tell you but the most important is don' t ever give up on him because obviously He's d only hope. Keep your fingers crossed, keep your relationship with him going fine, keep your communication with him strong, continue living right while you are waiting. Then, while waiting get yourself busy and most importantly don't let what anybody is saying get at you or determine your happiness. Now to the questions raised.

1. Should a man marry when he is not financially buoyant to run a home?

It's very important as a man to have a stable source of income so he can provide for his family. He might not be financially buoyant, in this case you don't live above your income.

2. Should a woman marry a man with no sustainable job?

For a woman who wants to marry a man with no job,then the woman must have a stable source of income and she has to ready to take up the responsibilities of the man till he gets a job and this is a very personal decision,but if the two don't have a source of income then its a NO for me!!

3. Should two people who don't love each other marry for the sake of the society?

NO...that is a pseudo marriage and 95% of it fails... The reason for d marriage is very shallow and it will be difficult to make it work

4. Should a man marry a woman who can't manage a home when he is out of finances?

This depends on the man,some like their wife to work while some want their wife as a full housewife..it depends on the man,so if you are a man and you want your wife to work then go for a working class lady and if shes not working yet you can help her set up something of her own so she won't be idle and she can also help when the need arise.

5. Should a woman marry a man with a future prospect while she suffers in the mean time?

Hmmm...its a personal decision to make, some women don't mind as a matter of fact it's pride for them that they suffered with their man when he was nothing till he rises to the top. There are many testimonies of such today while some women can't stand suffering. It's left to the woman in the situation to take the decision herself, if you are convinced, you can endure, persevere and you love your man to that extent then you can go on.

BEB4 With Ayobami Jegede;

All I can say to these 5 questions are; A man or woman should get married when he/she thinks they're fulfilled, but we all have our differences. A man may think the moment he's through with his first degree, he's fulfilled, and a woman may think, the moment she sees a working class guy she's fulfilled. But the truth is that no man will get married when he's not financially buoyant, because he wouldn't want his mates to mock him or abuse him of rushing into it, then secondly, such marriages crashes in no time, when the man can't meet up with the woman's needs.

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